The Two Wings of Wholeness: How Self-Esteem and Purpose Support Each Other
By Marie Schwob
One of the main reasons clients seek my support is twofold: they struggle with self-esteem and feel disconnected from their sense of purpose.
Many carry a deep-seated sense of unworthiness that seeps into their daily lives, shaping their behaviors and relationships in ways they may not even realize. This experience is unfortunately widespread. We live in a society that often measures our worth by productivity and achievement, and many of us grew up in environments that reinforced this idea.
Generations before us had little understanding of emotional intelligence, nonviolent communication, and the lasting impact of trauma. As a result, many adults find themselves navigating life with an internalized sense of judgment and a relentless inner critic.
When it comes to purpose, many view work as a means to a financial end, disconnected from their hearts and deeper meaning. The idea of having a "purpose" can feel elusive, an abstract ideal rather than something tangible.
Yet, both self-esteem and purpose can be cultivated through practical tools and embodied practices that shift not only how we see ourselves but also how we move through life.
When we dedicate time to self-exploration and integrate supportive practices, we create a foundation that allows us to live more aligned, fulfilling lives.
Self-Esteem as an Embodied Practice
Just like a muscle, self-esteem can be strengthened over time. While it may seem intangible, there are daily practices that create real, lasting shifts in how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.
Some of the most profound changes happen when we work through the body. Somatics, body-based awareness practices, and subconscious work help us rewrite outdated narratives and reconnect with a deep, intrinsic sense of worth. The more we embody these practices, the more we cultivate resilience, confidence, and self-trust.
Self-Contact
The body is a direct gateway to the subconscious: it holds all of our past imprints. A simple yet powerful practice is to place a hand on your heart each morning and offer yourself words of affirmation. Interestingly, the body does not distinguish whether nurturing touch comes from someone else or from you; it registers this act as care and validation. Over time, this practice builds a foundation of self-support and inner trust.
Somatic Journeying
When difficult emotions arise, notice where they show up in your body. What is the quality of the sensation - tightness, heaviness, fluttering, pressure, or warmth? Stay with the direct feeling and observe how it shifts or unfolds. By doing so, you separate the physical experience from the mental story attached to it, creating space for emotions to move and complete their natural cycle.
Rather than suppressing emotions or numbing them with distractions, this practice teaches the nervous system that it is safe to hold and process feelings. Over time, this increases resilience and deepens your relationship with yourself. The more we engage in this practice, the more we develop emotional agility and a compassionate relationship with our inner world.
Myofascial Release
Our fascia (the connective tissue that runs throughout the body) stores emotional imprints. Practices like foam rolling or self-massage with a ball offer a direct way to release these stored tensions. By tending to our physical body in this way, we not only experience relief from tightness and discomfort but also support the emotional layers beneath.
As we build attunement with our bodies, we create an internal sense of safety. This foundation strengthens our ability to navigate life's challenges with confidence and self-compassion. Feeling at home in our own bodies translates to a greater ability to trust ourselves and the decisions we make.
The Interconnection Between Self-Esteem and Purpose
Interestingly, once self-esteem strengthens, the conversation often shifts toward purpose. This makes sense, self-worth and purpose are like two wings of the same bird. They work in tandem, reinforcing and uplifting each other.
Yet, purpose is often misunderstood. We are taught to see it as a singular, grand mission that, once found, will lead to lifelong fulfillment. In reality, purpose is fluid. It is not solely tied to career and may evolve throughout our lives. Purpose can take many forms: a creative pursuit, caregiving, parenthood, contributing to a cause, or simply bringing more presence into daily interactions.
When we connect with purpose in an authentic way, we access states of joy, enthusiasm, and mastery. This sense of alignment fuels our motivation and provides a deeper sense of fulfillment.
Cultivating Purpose
If you feel disconnected from a sense of purpose, practices like meditation, somatic journeying, and journaling can bring clarity. These tools help quiet the external noise and attune you to an inner knowing that is always present.
By creating stillness, we make space for deeper truths to emerge. - truths untouched by societal expectations or comparisons.
Purpose is not something we find outside of ourselves; it is something we uncover by listening within. When we cultivate this connection, we realize that purpose is not just about doing, it is also about being. It is found in the way we show up for ourselves and others, the energy we bring into our daily experiences, and the meaning we create in the small, everyday moments of life.
About Marie Schwob
Marie-Floriane is a certified somatic therapist, holistic counsellor, breathwork facilitator, and student of applied neuroscience. She previously spent over a decade at Google, where she also led mindfulness programs that supported hundreds of colleagues worldwide. Today, she integrates evidence-based approaches with somatic and holistic practices to help clients release old patterns and reconnect with themselves. Marie supports clients online and in person in North London.
Meet Marie and learn more about Somatic Therapy
https://www.medicineiswithin.com/
@themedicinewithin